Healing Is Vital
At LOVESPIRIT in London next saturday i will offer a space to talk about hiv in relation to personal growth and spiritual discovery. http://www.lovespirit.org
HIV was the catalyst that led to my interest in spirituality. Diagnosed in 1990, by 95 I was becoming symptomatic. I left my job, got my debts written off by telling the bank I was getting ready to die, and turned my mind to the question of life and death – why did I exist in the first place? I had held a firm atheistic view since the age of 12, now, at 30, I plunged into a study of the worlds religions, pagan magic and new age teachings, and opened myself to the possibility of a divine presence in the universe. I became fascinated and inspired – writing, drawing, living in a dreamtime for long periods, surging with energies I had never encountered before, except perhaps on lsd. It hit me that I was growing beyond the ego and into the soul, encountering the energy of spirit in all things. Facing death the trigger for this to happen.
It took some years before I came across writings that connected gay sexuality with spiritual matters. But when I found out that we had been shamans and healers in tribes across the planet a piece of the jigsaw fell into place. Gay liberation has started in the sexual, social and political spheres, but has to go all the way to the spiritual level before gay people find their place in the human family. The malevolent attitude towards us encouraged by certain religions discourages most of us from the spiritual search – many of us fulfil our longing for the ecstatic embrace of the universe through drugs, using powerful stimulants without the respect the ancient shamans would have held for the energy of spirit the drugs are taking us into.
We are healers, and healing starts with the self. We also need exposure to the loving embrace of fellows in order to overcome the wounds inflicted on us from childhood and take the healing further. This can be found in tribal gatherings such as Faerie sanctuaries and Edward Carpenter Community retreats, where we gather to tell our stories, share our love and receive healings from nature. The experience is often profound, life-changing and, vitally, healing.
HIV could be a call from the soul to seek healing and understanding of who we are, pushing us out of the rat race of a blinkered civilisation into a bigger brighter braver, and much more conscious, future for gay people and all people.