In the first months of 1995 while surrendering my life to the gods in preparation for an expected early death, my mind and spirit opened to reveal that we live in an infinite Multiverse. Energy rushes hit me, visions cascaded into my inner sight and I became filled with an excited anticipation of wonderful things to come. Hard to encapsulate this experience in words, here are some of the first lines of poetry I ever wrote, attempting to record the powerful shift happening within me.
It all gets clearer all the time
The rot, the ignorance
I watch them fall away
Behind me, behind us
Only the future for us now
I haven’t got the tune but I’ve got the words
Who can take my words and give them music
Who can take my words and give them pictures
Who can take my words and give them taste
Who can give the feeling
The feeling we all crave, desire and seek
And shout about and whisper about
in candlelit rooms while the music tells us what we want to hear.
It’s all been said before
It’s all been done before
Why haven’t we started to listen?
There’s always more to know, more people to meet
More sex to indulge in, more smoke to get high on
More flesh to savour
The dirty days are gone, they can no longer tell us what we do is evil
Because we know the truth
Laugh at their blindness, as we often do
Open their eyes and they’ll be laughing too.
The answer is in our grasp, we create it at every turn
Every action is a sign, and every turning a new wonder.
The sixties gave us a dream
Free love, free people, real freedom
the seventies put us through our paces
as the worst of the west ignored the queer, shut out the black
didn’t go to the disco
and limited gay to YMCA
The shining lights speak to us still
Disco was ecstasy before enough of us knew what that was
They speak to me now as I write without thought
Each idea comes to life, with ease and with joy
Each wave through my orgasm soaked brain gives new heights
I throw out a smile in case anyone thinks I’m crazy
or so they will know I am. Soon they will be smiling with me.
My thoughts work on every level
I see every substance, I see every idea
As a living growing entity
expanding in its own right
just like the universe
what do things expand into?
Into themselves, into ourselves, into the Self.
My life begins, my world opens up
there is pleasure and there is pain
but the idiots won’t let me show it
they can’t believe that I can tell the truth about these things
they wait on the corner to see my mistakes, but I have to ask….
where is the sunshine we have been waiting for?
Riding high on moments of memory
transported to places long lost in my past
worrying I go too far, I go too high,
if I cannot get the message across who will take it further?
I’m not out in the rain, I’m out in the sun
but who is coming with me and will I ever come back?
Tell me I am wrong if you must
But in this feeling I place my trust.
Everything we want is in our power
Time has stopped, we move above it
creating time travel by bringing the future into our world now
When will we recognise the prophets and laugh at the bigots?
The dream we all dream of is in us.