Seeking The Truth of Who We Are

The gay community has been largely defined from the outside, our modern culture formed as a result of sexuality becoming a kind of identity. But we are not our sexuality.

The theme of this month’s Let’s Talk About Gay Men, Sex and Drugs event at KU KLUB in Lisle Street, Soho on Thursday 9th April 2015 is TRUTH.  I love this event where anyone can have five minutes to share through words, song or performance, see it offering a crucial forum at a time of hectic changes in gay life.  My thoughts on Truth offered here.

Queer communities have been able to develop openly because of the secular rationalist outlook of the modern world and the reduction in the power and influence of religion. (We can see how we are treated in some parts of the world where religion still dominates life). But the modern materialist scientific paradigm is not able to tell us who we really are or why we are here. We are not just these bodies. There is something divine and magical inside us. We knew this as bright gay children and my journey has brought me to believe that as qieer people we were born to embrace this and live it. For the divine soul in us does not believe in laws and religions and conventions, it believes in freedom, love, pleasure, and self-expression, for all. Coming Out is the first sign that we have the potential to think for ourselves, break down society’s taboos and find our own Truth. The world however tries its best to keep us in the boxes that divide humanity and keep us serving the military-industrial economic monster that has become the modern God.

We live in a left brain dominated society where imagination, intuition, psychic phenomena are considered insignificant. But these ‘irrational’ right brain activities can take us out of the constantly active ego mind and into the energies of the soul, to deeper places in ourselves where we feel and find our place in the whole, where we can know our innate oneness with all beings. This experience is lacking in our society, but the need in us to know these feelings is strong. Chems and chemsex are appealing because they give us time off from the rational chattering mind and all its problems. We get time in the soul, but often at a toxic cost, not least because over time we need more and stronger drugs to have a good time. But we could be doing this consciously…. Tantra, Shamanism, Meditation, Yoga, 5 Rhythms dancing, creative pursuits are all ways we can learn to shift our internal perceptions and enter states of being that bring us healing, insight, understanding and soulful feelings of the universal bliss from which we come.

Humans put so much energy into chasing heightened states of perception and connection when in fact the simplest way to enter into union with the deep rhythms and ecstatic feelings of life is to drop the chase, drop the worries, come to stillness, come to the Now. Accept that everything in the universe is yearning and reaching for expansion and connection, that is the core energy of the lifeforce that we are, it drives all our play and passion. We do not always have to chase, we can turn within, taking time to feel that the core love and joy we are seeking out there in the world is already within us – time to get to know and nurture that feeling inside – brings us balance and strength, so that when we do play and pursue our joys we are coming from a much more grounded, confident place within ourselves. We will need less chems to get to where we want to be and the sexual connections we can reach will be awesome.


At radical faerie gatherings queers expand the experience of collective gay life into the territories of the heart, emotions and the energy body. We explore community through open hearted communication, operating from subject-Subject consciousness (treating each person as another subject, who deserves the same love and understanding that we hope for, not an object to be used for our gratification); we bring healing, balance and perspective into our lives through time in nature opening ourselves to self-discovery. Gatherings are altered reality spaces that often last 10 days, and feel timeless, eternal, and gift us with insights and understandings into the true nature of reality and who we are in it.

When it comes to the truth of who we are, why do so many of us queers look to scientists and humanists to guide us and not listen more to the prophets and pioneers of our own community:

Walt Whitman believed ‘the divine love of comrades’ would bring about a revolution in human relationships and society. Edward Carpenter saw us as the vanguard of a new humanity, bringing celebration of the body and sexuality to the fore, turning round centuries of sexual oppression, and lifting humanity to a higher vibration as a result. We are coming up fast to 50 years since start of the legal gay liberation story in the UK, but we are a portion of society beset with health crises and drug issues.  We have not yet found the Truth of Who We Are.   Our liberation has to evolve beyond the political, social and sexual into the spiritual: the question of who we are, and how we see and treat each other, is central to our future.

Suggestions from some of our gay prophets on how to manifest more of the unique and wonderful qualities our queerness gives birth to in us:

“Throw off the green frog-skin of hetero-imitation” (Harry Hay)
“Run in circles holding hands” (Will Roscoe)
“Maximize our differences from straights as an act of love” (Don Kilhefner – Assimilation or Affirmation)
“Outdistance the angels” (James Broughton – Shaman Psalm)
“Not be what the men create us to be” (Larry Mitchell – The Faggots And Their Friends Between Revolutions)
“Re-member our true nature[s]” (Mitch Walker – Visionary Love)
“Become less like a man and less like a woman” (Andrew Ramer)
“Choose the highest love” (Andrew Harvey – Rebirth Through The Wound)
“Let your strangeness be your guide” (Harry Hay)
“Threaten the very core of the patriarchies” (Paul Monette – On Becoming)

“Take…. delight in life and in the gay expression of it” (Ram Dass)

ram dass Ram Dass


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