What LSD did for me

purple om acid

April 19th – Bicycle Day, commemorated as the date the discoverer of LSD, Albert Hoffman, took his first intentional dose of acid in 1943.

I was completely astonished by the beauty of nature. Our eyes see just a small fraction of the light in the world. It is a trick to make a colored world, which does not exist outside of human beings.” Hofman.

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My own personal Bicycle Day was London Gay Pride 1989.  I met guys taking acid in the dance tent in Kennington Park, and I wanted in – having been increasingly drawn in my clubbing nights towards house music and the emerging acid house genre.  That night I met one of the guys from the park again and we went together to Heaven, where he passed me a wrapped strip of chewing gum.  I unfolded it carefully in the bathroom cubicle and found the small square piece of blotting paper inside, adorned with a purple OM symbol.

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I had been given no guidance on how much of a dose to take, and that piece of paper looked so small, so I took the whole of it under my tongue and held it there, eventually chewing away at it.

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Back on the Heaven dance floor the night came to a rapid conclusion, though to me I felt trapped in an eternity of intense sounds and flashing lights. The first thing I noticed was the floor seemed to slant to a 45 degree angle, then around me all the men became pig-faced. Very soon there was nothing in my universe except sound and light, I could not find anything solid to reference, i felt myself dissolving. Somehow the guy who gave me the trip found me and tried to pull me together.  I was freaking out by this time however, and although he thought it wasn’t the best idea, I insisted we leave the club.  As I entered the air outside i came to my senses a bit, realised we were walking past a long queue of people waiting to enter the club, understood that we had not been in there long at all.

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My trip facilitator was known on the scene as Acid Bob – a tall, skinny triphead from whom I learnt that gay men had been dropping acid on the Heaven dance floor since it had opened in 1979, long before the arrival in the late 80s of acid house, and what we liked to call the ‘second summer of love’. The 80s hi-energy music of the gay scene was the bridge between 70s disco and the house music explosion. It seems gay men had even been keeping alive the path of lsd exploration, which had gone out of fashion after the 1960s. As we travelled home in a taxi to Bob’s house in south London I relaxed and switched from fear to excitement. Everything I looked at shapeshifted into something else…. the skies were full of fireworks, there was more colour around than I had ever seen. Bob tried to calm me down, the taxi driver was getting worried.

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A six year period of lsd explorations had begun for me. When I was ready to try the drug again after that first big trip, i started with small doses – soon working out that a half tab, or even quarter, was enough for me to enjoy a night out of non-stop dancing. As my tolerance increased I became more brave and eventually would happily drop a microdot, knowing it was going to throw me deeply into another dimension for eight hours, but excited to take the ride. Occasionally I would slip off the dance floor and sit closed eyes in a corner, prompting a bouncer to come check on me – but I was perfectly happy, surrendered to the inner visions that the lsd was provoking. In those trips I forgot I was an atheist – I went through inner portals, i talked with the universe, and it communicated back, I felt i could travel through wormholes, I became aware I could see, manipulate and direct energy – on those early acid dance floors, at clubnights like Troll and Future, we used to play with chi. We believed we were souls awakening to a new and very different version of life on earth. House music sang this message to us: “Brothers, Sisters, we’ll make it to the promised land.”

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The next day after a trip, I went back to scepticism and atheism. I had real life to deal with – diagnosed HIV+ in 1990, I became angry with the world, with weekly acid trips my time of escape to a much better place. When AIDS set in, early 1995, I started to ask spiritual questions about existence – i read books about witchcraft, buddhism, and the tao and the ‘new age’. Opening my mind to a god concept for the first time since I gave up on Christianity aged 12, ‘light’ flooded into my brain. My mind seemed to speed up and get out of control – suddenly everything was overstimulating me and inspiring me to manic mystical outbursts. But I remembered the acid trips, i recalled that I had learnt to navigate the ways of the mind and get beyond, way beyond them. Didn’t I used to think I was talking to ‘god’ when i was tripping on the Heaven dancefloor, or at the Market Tavern? I dropped the scepticism and began a spiritual journey – suddenly ‘knowing’ that there is a second birth possible in life, a birth of the soul-self, which exists in union and communion with all creation, that knows it has lived before and that has no fear of death, seeing it as going home.  We get to this rebirth by releasing ego, attachments, aversions – by surrendering the mind to the sky, was how it felt.  With early death my only future prospect, this was quite an easy surrender to make.

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I believe those acid tabs prepared me for the biggest trip of all – into the mystery of consciousness, light, love, death and incarnation. They showed me that other dimensions exist, they showed me that holiness and divinity are not separate from us, not something to be feared, nor something necessarily to bow down to. Holiness and divinity are the nature of what we are, at the deepest level of our being.  They are what mystics of all faiths have always been directly exploring, they are what religions are supposed to keep us connected to.  But for many of us today, religions seem to be control systems, and not relevant.  Acid revealed the innate connections to the spirit worlds within me that I had previously been blind to, so that when i went on to face death and study the world’s spiritual paths, I remembered that this Unity thing, this Cosmic Love thing, the sense of infinity and eternity, was already something alive and active within me.  Acid indeed, as Aldous Huxley put it, exists to help us open the doors of perception, and once open we are never the same again.

By observing natural scientific discoveries through a perception deepened by meditation, we can develop a new awareness of reality. This awareness could become the bedrock of a spirituality that is not based on the dogmas of a given religion, but on insights into a higher and deeper meaning. I am referring to the ability to recognize, to read, and to understand the firsthand revelations. Hofman.

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“Bicycle Day” from Wikipedia

Bicycle Day celebration blotter

On April 19, 1943, Hofmann performed a self-experiment to determine the true effects of LSD, intentionally ingesting 0.25 milligrams (250 micrograms) of the substance, an amount he predicted to be a threshold dose (an actual threshold dose is 20 micrograms).[7] Less than an hour later, Hofmann experienced sudden and intense changes in perception. He asked his laboratory assistant to escort him home and, as use of motor vehicles was prohibited because of wartime restrictions, they had to make the journey on a bicycle. On the way, Hofmann’s condition rapidly deteriorated as he struggled with feelings of anxiety, alternating in his beliefs that the next-door neighbor was a malevolent witch, that he was going insane, and that the LSD had poisoned him. When the house doctor arrived, however, he could detect no physical abnormalities, save for a pair of incredibly dilated pupils. Hofmann was reassured, and soon his terror began to give way to a sense of good fortune and enjoyment, as he later wrote…

“… Little by little I could begin to enjoy the unprecedented colors and plays of shapes that persisted behind my closed eyes. Kaleidoscopic, fantastic images surged in on me, alternating, variegated, opening and then closing themselves in circles and spirals, exploding in colored fountains, rearranging and hybridizing themselves in constant flux …”

The events of the first LSD trip, now known as “Bicycle Day”, after the bicycle ride home, proved to Hofmann that he had indeed made a significant discovery: a psychoactivesubstance with extraordinary potency, capable of causing significant shifts of consciousness in incredibly low doses. Hofmann foresaw the drug as a powerful psychiatric tool; because of its intense and introspective nature, he couldn’t imagine anyone using it recreationally.[8] Bicycle Day is increasingly[citation needed] observed in psychedelic communities as a day to celebrate the discovery of LSD.

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The Ecstatic Rites of Spring

Equinox is the turning point – the inward pull of the Winter energies gives way to the growing, vital, impulse of the rising Spring. We can see in nature just how dramatic this shift is, and as humans we can learn from nature – to bring human minds, hearts and bodies in tune with the seasonal shift the ancient pagan religions used to make energetic, ecstatic Spring celebrations, which shook people out of the slumber of winter. Ecstasy was understood as a state of divine possession – where, through dance, intoxication, sex and even pain, celebrants got “out of their minds” to experience themselves as part of the Great Mystery, the dance of the gods and spirits.

Ecstatic wisdom is lacking in modern society. The benefits of transcendental journeys are appreciated by few, and rarely included in the discussion about and search for mental health and general well-being. But the simple thing is – if we humans don’t get to spend time ‘out of our heads’, we get stuck in them. Mental illness is the result. The need for transcendence is in-built in us, so many people end up seeking it unconsciously – even compulsively – leading so easily to drug, alcohol and sexual addictions, which result, I would say, because of a lack of a viable spiritual/mystical framework within which to hold the experience. Modern rational thought has released us from the chains of religion, but left us in freefall as individuals unaware of the intrinsic unity of life that is manifesting through us.

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In ancient Greece and Rome the first weeks of Spring saw the wild and ecstatic rituals of Dionysus/Bacchus and of the Great Mother Cybele and her consort Attis. Much of what we know about these rituals comes from outraged and disturbed Apollonian Greeks (who sought to bring order in the universe above all things) and appalled early Christian writers (who saw the body and sex as sinful). Both Dionysus and Attis are gender-fluid, queer characters, whose worship was serious competition to Christianity until around the 4th century CE. Dionysus and Attis, like Jesus, were ‘divine children’ born of the union of a deity and a human. Both have death and resurrection stories as part of their mythology, both were seen as ‘saviours’.

At the turn of the first millennium death, resurrection and salvation were the big theme in religious circles. A process was underway in which the secret sacraments of the Mystery Schools were becoming ‘solidified’ in religious form – and increasingly taken literally, seen as something happening externally, instead of understood as mystical symbolism teaching about the pathway of the soul through incarnation. One of the oldest Mystery Schools was that of Cybele, the Great Mother, that had a long and respected history in the Turkish area of Phrygia in Anatolia. The Greeks equated Cybele with Rhea, the Mother of the King of the Gods, Zeus, and the Romans held her power in such awe that, when threatened with defeat in the Punic Wars against Hannibal of Carthage, they consulted ancient Cybelline oracles and followed their guidance to invite the Great Mother to become Rome’s official deity. A black meteor stone was brought from Phrygia to Rome with great fanfare and a temple inaugurated.

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The arrival of Cybelline worship in Greece, around the 6th century BCE, and in Rome from 200 BCE, was controversial for some. Cybele’s worship centred on the story of her lover Attis, who castrated himself to avoid marriage to a human woman. (The castration botched, Attis died – violets sprang from his blood – the Goddess bathed his testicles in holy water, wrapped them in his clothes and buried them. In the most ancient legends he was reborn as her daughter. In Christian times his followers depicted him as a Christ-like god surrounded by stars in heaven). The wild and effeminate looks and behaviours, the brazen sexuality and wild rituals of the wandering Gallae priests of Cybele were shocking to many. Their Spring rituals involved frenzied dancing, flagellation and self-mutilation in order to achieve ecstatic states of union with their beloved deities, Cybele and Attis. To be like Attis, and become closer to Cybele, at the peak of the wild Spring rituals, on the Day of Blood (March 24th), initiates, while in a frenzied state, would castrate themselves. They would then run through the city and throw the testes at random into somebody’s house – that person then became responsible for taking care of the new priestess. This continues a tradition, by that time many thousands of years old, in which transgender priests were seen as the holy servants of the Goddess. These priests are mentioned in the Old Testament – named the Qedesha, this word was translated in the King James Bible as ‘sodomites’ (removing all link to the sacred), and in modern Bibles is usually put as ‘male shrine prostitutes’ – but the original meaning was actually ‘The Anointed Ones’, or ‘The Holy Ones’. Jesus speaks of eunuchs in the Gospel of Matthew, saying that some are born that way, some are made so by others, but others choose to be so, ‘for the sake of the kingdom of heaven’. Jesus also points out that only some will understand this.

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Bacchanalian rituals celebrating the start of Spring were similarly wild and orgiastic. Dionysus to the Greeks and Bacchus to the Romans, the rituals of this young transgendered god were a highlight of the ancient year. Dionysus was the child of Zeus and a human woman, Semele. The Goddess Hera was so jealous of him that she had the Titans rip him apart. But Rhea (Cybele) brought him back to life. His rituals, held in the forests, were popular, but notorious for their effect on women, who would become sexually wild and abandoned under his influence. Through imbibing his precious gift to humanity, wine, people became possessed by the god and experienced his direct presence amongst them.

The Spring rituals were a time when order gave way to ecstasy and chaos for a while. The echoes today are the festivals of Purim in Judaism and Mardi Gras in Catholic countries, where cross-dressing features strongly. By embracing the ecstatic, people got some relief from the pressures and trials of regular life, received boosts from the deities to shake off the winter sluggishness and attune to the surging spirit of Spring.

In northern Europe, where the Spring is slower to take hold, the ecstatic peak of the year was (and for some of us IS) celebrated at Beltane, May 1st, with comparable rituals of raising energies through music, dance and sex. Fire is central to the Beltane rituals, burning away of the old and bringing heat and passion to engage the new season. The deities of Beltane are the Goddess and the Green Man, also the Horned God Cernunnos, a northern European version of Pan, another forest deity like Dionysus, also associated with free sexual expression of all kinds.

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A prime difference between the emerging new religion and the old pagan faiths was the attitude to the body and sexuality. The Christian church sought to limit, control, contain and suppress the sexual urge. The persecution of homosexual and transexual people and behaviours began as a direct part of the suppression of pagan practices. Anal sex between men, lascivious wild women, orgiastic rituals were all seen as threats to the emerging order of patriarchal control. Spring rituals had to go, as part of the destruction of even the memory of the holiness to be found through same sex eroticism and gender-fluidity.

The principle rivals to the emerging Christ figure were holy queer beings – Dionysus, god of wine and ecstasy, and Attis, gender shifting son/daughter (and lover) of the primordial Goddess. But of course the Christ story is queer also – he was accompanied by a circle of male disciples, one of whom is singled out in the Gospel of John as the ‘disciple whom Jesus loved’, he was taught about love and ecstasy by the sacred sexworker Mary Magdalene, and Mark tells us that in the Garden of Gethsemane he was met by a partially dressed young man carrying water (the symbol of Aquarius, in a culture where women did that work) who fled, losing his cloth, once the guards came. But this queerness is denied and still largely unclaimed even by gay Christians.

Of course the Jesus story is queer. The very roots of religion come from a long tradition of genderfluidity and knowledge of the self through same sex love, whether expressed sexually or not. The suppression of the feminine, the ecstatic and the queer have all gone hand in hand in a patriarchal drive to control and bring order to life’s chaotic energies.

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The overall culture will take a long time to shift, but in the 21st century shift is happening. Individually we can make the internal changes we need to bring ourselves into alignment with the cycles and transitions of nature and the cosmos by letting go of all belief in our isolation, by entering into a relationship with the spirit that flow through us and all things and escaping the solitude of the mind-bound egoic sense of self.

Giving ourselves some ecstatic release helps to shift the body and mind into the new season and to new levels of understanding. Dancing, sex, even intoxicants can help. Every trip into ecstasy is an invitation to transformation. Taken with awareness, those trips can helpfully accelerate our evolution, our journey to self knowledge and discovery.

HAIL DIONYSUS!  HAIL PAN!

HAIL CERNUNNOS!  HAIL CYBELE!

BELTANE IS COMING!

beltane fire lady (Copy)

SPRING EQUINOX 2018

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Spring is ready to burst forth
in flowers and in song
animals and trees are poised
and inviting us people along
to the celebration of Ostara
the return of the Maiden and Pan
as the winter hag retires
as the zodiac wheel renews
we leap out of the winter waters
and into the Ram’s fire play
suddenly we find ourselves
in celebration of the Maiden and Pan

ostara pentagram
Ostara Ostara Ostara Ostara
the return, the resurrection
through the power of the holy fool
reclaimed on All Fools day
divine children of the Earth
riding the winds and waves of renewal and rebirth
letting go of the Winter’s tide
birthing the Spring child from the inside.

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Ostara Ostara Ostara Ostara
time of the Maiden and of Pan
uniting the ways with the wyrd and the wonderful
birthing the faerie human.

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TRANS EMERGENCE

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TRANS EMERGENCE IS SOUL EMERGENCE

In recent times….

Technologically humanity has advanced, but

Spiritually we are still in the backwaters…

Mistranslated ancient texts are used to dominate and abuse

Opinionated bigots hinder the advance of human understanding

Yet a new light, that is also an ancient light is dawning

The emergence of Trans identity is the Awakening in progress

.

Beyond race, beyond faith, beyond gender – we are all SOULS

– individual manifestations of collective divine potential –

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The Soul contains all potential

It incarnates sometimes in feminine energy, sometimes in masculine

Some souls incarnate with a combination of female and male spirit

Some even with neither, the ultimate non-binary is pure divinity

The Kabbalistic Tree of Life has three pillars

Souls on the left or right pillars are exploring manifestation through gender

Souls on the middle pillar are exploring divinity

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Humanity is ready to become One

conscious of the unity of Source that gives rise to us all

the Source that is Mother and Father and Lover to all of Creation

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Souls are on a journey through eternity

That began with what religion calls ‘the fall’

In the illusion of separation from Source

We are free to be Who We Want To Be

Unless others try to stop us

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A person’s inner gender can be different to their physical manifestation

When someone says ‘born in the wrong body’ it implies they existed before the body

We did. We are souls on a very long journey

.

Technologically humanity has come a long way

Emotionally and spiritually we are still learning

The Soul is ready to awaken and reveal its splendour

Trans people are nothing new

The heyday of same sex love and genderfluidity in religious practice lasted from the end of the Ice Age until the 4th century AD. Around 10,400 years

Ever since then male dominated religions have worked very hard to eradicate all trace of any connection between trans and homosexual people and Spirit

But we are the people of Spirit, we hear and heed the call from within to be true to Who We Are –

the time of our re-EMERGENCE has come….

 

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Jesus said to them, “When you make the two into one, and when you make the inner like the outer and the outer like the inner, and the upper like the lower, and when you make male and female into a single one, so that the male will not be male nor the female be female… then you will enter the Kingdom” Gnostic Gospel of St Thomas

I’ve written this post today because I came across vile opinions of ‘Christians’ on line in regards to the emergence of Trans people. For example, this blog piece focusses on Baphomet, genderqueer deity that has been around at least since the Middle Ages, saying..

“IT HAS BEEN LEAKED FROM THE WITHIN THE ELITE THAT SODOMY RITUALS ARE A COMMON PRACTICE AS ARE OTHER “SEX MAGIC” RITUALS WHERE DEMONIC ENTITIES ARE PETITIONED FOR POWER AND POSSESSION.  THIS LINK IS CRUCIAL TO THE PERSISTENT HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA AS THE ELITE SEEK TO MAKE CLEAR CUT GENDER ROLES OBSOLETE.  THIS IS ALSO AT THE ROOT OF FEMINISM AS THE GOAL OF FEMINISM WORKS IN COOPERATION WITH THE HOMOSEXUAL COMMUNITY TO “LIBERATE” SOCIETY FROM TRADITIONAL GENDER ROLES.… BAPHOMET WORSHIP HAS BECOME PERVASIVE THROUGHOUT MEDIA AS THE ELITE UNDERSTAND THAT THE MORE THEY EAT AWAY AT THE VERY FABRIC OF THE TRADITIONAL FAMILY THE MORE LIKELY THEY ARE TO SUCCEED IN OVERTHROWING ABSOLUTES IN MORALITY.  BAPHOMET IS THE ULTIMATE GRAY AREA THAT CHALLENGES BIBLICAL VALUES AND SEEKS TO RENDER THEM ARCHAIC AND IRRELEVANT.  IT IS WITHIN YOUR BEST INTEREST TO RECOGNIZE THIS SUBVERSIVE BEHAVIOR AS IT IS THIS VERY CLIMATE THAT IS SUCKING CHILDREN INTO A VACUUM OF SEXUAL PERVERSION AND CONFUSION VIA MEDIA INDOCTRINATION.  THERE IS A SERIOUS PROBLEM WITH A LITTLE BOY WANTING TO DRESS UP LIKE A PRINCESS OR WORSE, WHO BELIEVES THAT HE SHOULD’VE ACTUALLY BEEN BORN A GIRL AND VICE VERSA THERE IS SOMETHING TROUBLESOME ABOUT A LITTLE GIRL WHO BELIEVES THAT SHE SHOULD’VE ACTUALLY BEEN MALE AND NOT FEMALE AS IF GOD MADE A MISTAKE.  MEDIA SUBLIMINAL USAGE IS PROLIFIC IN REGARD TO THIS AND SHOULD NOT BE UNDERESTIMATED AS A PERVASIVE AND PROFOUND INFLUENCE.”  
FROM: HTTPS://MIDRASHMONTHLY.WORDPRESS.COM/2011/07/11/HOMOSEXUALITY-GENDER-CONFUSION-AND-THE-SPIRIT-OF-BAPHOMET/

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MASCULINITY AND FEMININITY ARE NAMES GIVEN TO THE CREATIVE ENERGIES OF THE UNIVERSE. WE ARE ALL A DANCE OF THESE ENERGIES, WHICH HAVE OTHER NAMES TOO – such as yin/yang, active/passive, direction/radiance.

TRANS EMERGENCE IS THE SOUL INSIDE COMING OUT, TRANSCENDENT AND TRANSFORMED

FOR THE WORLD HAS CHANGED

AND HUMANITY NEEDS TO DROP THE OLD GAMES OF DIVISION AND EXPLOITATION AND GREED, and change too

TO FIND A NEW GAME TO PLAY….

TRANS EMERGENCE IS SOUL EMERGENCE

The Age of  Aquarius –

of A-queerer-us

– has begun.

THE LAST BLAST OF THE BHEUR (Winter part 3)

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Bheur, or Beira, the Queen of Winter in Scottish mythology – a name of the Cailleach, Hag aspect of the Triple Goddess, is still ruling the season during February and into March. Our celebrations of the Maiden Brigit at Imbolc (Feb 1st) were marking the promise of Spring, not its actual arrival. Snow drops – and sometimes freezing weather and actual snow – remind us that before the rising sap of Spring comes one last dose of winter ‘inner’ time. Beira the hag shows up with her icy fingers and sends us scurrying back into our caves, where healing, recharging and transformation can happen, sends us back into hibernation for one last deep dip into the darkness before the growth season kicks off.

The Scottish legend of Beira tells us she held the maiden Brigit captive in an attempt to prevent Spring arriving and keep us in eternal Winter. I think too that we humans can get very excited by the sense of renewal and promise at Imbolc and then suffer when we discover the winter journey isn’t over yet.  Legend tells us that people hoped for a cloudy, wintry Imbolc as a bright sunny one indicated that another sharp blast of Winter would follow – which is exactly what we getting in 2018.

There are three months to the Winter season, each with its own elemental flavour, but underlying them all is the earth element. Winter is the earth time – of dormancy, of retreat, of inner reflection and healing. If we do not allow enough of this energy into our lives, nature makes us sick with colds and flu to force retreat upon us.

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As well as the underlying earth element, during Capricorn month the Sun gives us more earth vibrations, during Aquarius it is in air element, and during the last blast of Winter the Sun in Pisces is bathing us in water element. Earth and water are affected by gravity, they draw us into ourselves – whereas air and fire give us energy to rise, expand and even fly. So it is often during the last weeks of winter that we really feel the gravitational effects of the season, coming after the light and promise of Aquarius, and we feel them through our emotional bodies due to the influence of the Piscean spirit.

Pisces takes us into all our emotions – into our share of the universal as well as our personal feelings, which means any darker, heavier ones lurking around in our energy field will be making themselves known. The trick is to accept them, welcome them, and understand that experiencing them is an inevitable part of being alive! We accumulate emotional energy during the year and this is the month we can go into it, feel it – and release it, ready for a new start in the Spring. Hopefully the powerful air energies of Aquarius have given us some detachment and perspective, which we can draw on to do this inner work for ourselves.

For despite the inward energy pull of the winter, the frequencies of the cosmos at this time are actually collective, universal. (A powerful lesson here – universality, like divinity, is found within, not by searching outside ourselves). Capricorn loves to bring people together to share good earthy times, remind us we are part of a family or community, while at the same time demanding we make the necessary, practical steps to adjust to living in the Winter climate and energy. Aquarius lifts the mind into noble ideals of universal love, humanitarianism, idealism and an understanding of our place in the whole – and Pisces opens the way to feel our part in that whole, it points to compassion as the recommended way to meet the world around us, for everyone on earth has their share of the universal energies of sorrow, loss and suffering, as well as the potential for infinite joy and liberation.

During the Pisces solar month the full moon occurs in the opposite sign of Virgo, the energy of which balances that of the fish. Pisces encourages us to accept life as it is, to surrender to it and be part of the flow. Virgo gives us the will and the impetus to take steps to make life, for ourselves and others, better. Virgo full moon can pull us out of the mire of overwhelming feelings through finding our direction and purpose, and affirming our intentions for the Spring and Summer, the more outward and active time of the year, which is just around the corner now. As Bheur the Hag Goddess delivers one last blast of Winter energies the way to make the most of it is to dive right in. Get under the duvet, read that book, go into dreamtime – get some cave comfort, for time to get out in the world will soon be here again.

Cailleach-Bheur

Does not every season prove
That the acorn hits the ground?
Have I not known enough of love
To know it’s lost as soon as found?

I drank my fill of wine with kings,
Their eyes fixed on my hair.
Now among the stinking hags
I chew the cud of prayer.

Time was the sea
Brought kings as slaves to me.
Now I hear the face of God
And the crab crawls through my blood.

I loved the wine
That thrilled me to my fingertips;
Now the mean wind
Stitches salt into my lips.

The coward sea
Slouches away from me.
Fear brings back the tide
That made me stretch at the side
Of him who’d take me briefly for his bride.

The sea grows smaller, smaller now.
Farther, farther it goes
Leaving me here where the foam dries
On the deserted land,
Dry as my shrunken thighs,
As the tongue that presses my lips,
As the veins that break through my hands.

Excerpt from The Old Woman of Beare, anonymous c 800CE, Irish Gaelic; trans. Brendan Kenneally

WINTER: PART 2

Imbolc

The second half of Winter has begun. Imbolc on Feb 1st was the turning point, the magical moment where the Goddess drops her ancient Crone aspect and becomes again the Maiden, symbolising the potent energy growing in the land as Nature prepares to spring back into life.

Winter is the Earth season. It is when we are asked by nature to slow down, to turn within, to reflect and to recharge. During the Winter we probably need to take some time off from other people, from duties and work, and allow our own inner processes some time to move. If we don’t do this willingly, colds and flu come along to push us into this state of inner focus. Then Imbolc comes along and gives us the moment to stick our heads out of our caves, connect with other people and review our intentions for the coming year. Goddess ceremonies at this time can help us to find our place in the whole, feel how we are held by the universe and guided on a path of self-discovery. They help to affirm what we wish to put in place, to heal what it is we are working on internally, and to boost our emotional and spiritual strength ready for the last blast of winter, for after the bright illumination of the Imbolc Full Moon, the planetary energies will now take us into a deep healing place.

2018 saw a Full Supermoon Eclipse at Imbolc, activating the Aquarius-Leo axis of the zodiac, which is about the balance between the personal (Leo) and impersonal (Aquarius), between romance and friendship, between the individual and the group. The eclipse makes this a particularly potent full moon, whose effects will be felt for months, giving us a cosmic push to make the changes we need in our lives to be more fulfilled, expressive and creative.

The Imbolc energies were a time of heightened experience and enthusiasm, of outward connections and confident expression. A week later the moon has reached its Last Quarter and we are diving fast towards the deep healing period of the waning, dark then new moon around February 15th. This will be the second deep dark moon dip of this winter, the first came in mid January, two weeks before Imbolc. Dark Moons always take us into our inner worlds, into feelings, fears and frustrations – giving us a chance to release difficult emotions, or at least honour them, so that we can enjoy the expanding energy again once New Moon comes. In the Winter season the dark moons can be very intense for some people. We can blame the lack of light, the weather etc but the fact is we have to journey into the darker, deeper, sadder parts of our emotional bodies in order to heal what is there and prepare ourselves for the growth energies of Spring and Summer. If things get really tough, it pays to recall that the lower we can go the more healing we can do, and consequently the higher and happier we can potentially be in the year ahead.

Aquarius gives the gift of impersonality – it enables us to stand back from our issues and sufferings, observe them, forgive them, change them. Invoking the Aquarian power within us can help to shift the inner vision to a broader perspective, so illuminating ways out of our quagmires, our ‘stuff’, once we remember that we are not helpless victims in a cruel universe – quite the opposite, we are divine co-creators of everything we experience in our lives. Every thought, every emotion we carry around in our energy field, attract energy and experiences into our lives.

It is entirely in our hands to work out how to use our minds to create the joy, the love, the experience we want in life. Winter is the time to go within, be with ourselves, and sort out our inner worlds. We might try being grateful for the dark moon dips, for the strong pull to isolation and retreat – time with Self, time to study, dream, write, draw etc, can be seen as a powerful gift which we can gladly receive. The time to reconnect, to get out in the world, will come again. The heavens suggest we are in for an incredible year of positive shift and expansive growth – taking time to pull in, to rest, to recharge, to dream, to reprogramme our inner processes, during the dark Winter months is the best way to prepare ourselves for it.

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The New Moon on February 15th brings the Chinese New Year.  We leave two years of FIRE based energy, the years of the Fire Monkey and Fire Rooster and enter two years of EARTH led vibrations, starting with the year of the Dog.  After the intensities of the last two years we can anticipate and look forward to a more balanced, gentler and more ‘sane’ time, globally, communally, individually.  A time of overcoming conflicts and seeking solutions.

If we are working on ourselves, embracing the soul within and the unity of life, these seasonal turning points become moments to relax and breathe, to gain perspective and to reaffirm our place in the whole.  For those people resistant to the flow of Spirit in their lives, who insist on clinging to the materialist paradigm of separation, lack and fear, things will not get easier.  We exist in a magical universe where the beliefs in our minds attract experiences that confirm those beliefs.  To really break free of the cycle of suffering and confusion we need to make a simple magical act – affirm our unity with all creation, then continue to affirm it at every seasonal festival, every dark moon and full moon, and indeed, every moment we are awake and aware.  It’s not that all issues and challenges will then fade away, but their power over us will wane as we become conscious co-creators with the powers of the universe open and flowing within us.

These human bodies are miracles of creation.  Within these frail forms exists the infinite power and light of the divine source, compacted into bodies and here to have fun, to know love, to make mistakes, burn, dive and rise again, until we are transfigured by life’s thrills and spills and know ourselves as divine souls on an eternal quest.  In the game of life, there is everything to play for in 2018.

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Across the Aeons the Ancients Call

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across the aeons the ancients

call out with their messages

planted long ago

remember remember the mystery

the Self they call us to know

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we live in the age of action

humanity so much busier than before

we’re doers not be-ers

doubters not believers

the ancestors call, “there’s much more…”

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we come to earth to find

the soul inside, the spirit free

the divinity that resides in humanity

the gates of love are ours to open

we have inner eyes with which to see

that I am You and You are Me

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in Oneness we change the game of life

return to the Source and know all things anew

it’s a subject:SUBJECT situation

you and me are One not Two

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religion kept us all asleep

science also divides and separates

if we free the mind, heart and sexuality

we can open our inner gates

and let the Light flood in

Oneness, Love, Holiness, Joy

are all found on the inside

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across the aeons the ancients

call out with their messages

planted long ago

remember remember the mystery

the Self they call us to know

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The Eternal Message of the Mystics

The Voices that are angry

The Voices that are sad

The Voices that are jealous

The Voices that are mad

The Voices that are happy, excited, loving, kind

The many Voices of the Mind

We observe and go beyond them

The deepest Voice to find.

The Wounds written on the Body

The Wounds carried in the Heart

The Pressures of Existence

Push us to Know our part.

Our Values and our Actions

Decree Who We Become

Our Friends and Lovers are our Mirrors

Reminding Us We are All One.

Beyond Illusion beyond pain we Heal in the Spirit zone

The Caress of the Spirit Holy

The Divine Mother coming Home.

The Body is the gateway

The Mind a ladder to climb

The Heart is the seat of Soul

Spirit Unified is the Goal.

Mystics throughout time have prepared the Way

Our task in the 21st Century, to wake up the world

Reveal a new way to Pray

Bring Ancient Light to modern times

Begin the Aquarian Day.

you-are

Hindu ‘Chandogya Upanishad’ c 1000BCE:

In the beginning was only Being

One without a second

Out of himself he brought forth the cosmos

And entered into everything in it.

There is nothing that did not come from him

Of everything he is the innermost Self.

He is the truth, he is the Self supreme

You are that… you are that.

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Buddhist ‘Hymn to Perfect Wisdom’ 2nd century CE:

Those in need of light considering,

The Tathagatas extol

Thee, the Single One, as many,

Multi-formed and many-named.

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Rabbinic teaching, C3:

Everything that God,

the source and substance of all,

creates in this world

flows naturally from the essence of God’s divine nature…

Creation is the extension of God

Creation is God encountered in time and space.

Creation is the infinite in the garb of the finite

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Christian mystic Gregory of Nyssa, C4:

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The distinction between the persons does not impair the oneness of nature, nor does the shared unity of essence lead to a confusion between the distinctive characteristics of the persons. Do not be surprised that we should speak of the Godhead as being at the same time both unified and differentiated. Using riddles, as it were, we envisage a strange and paradoxical diversity-in-unity and unity-in-diversity.

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Christian mystic, Dionysius the Areopagite, C6:

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Leave the senses and the workings of the intellect, and all that the sense and the intellect can perceive, and all that is not and that is, and through unknowing reach out, so far as this is possible, toward Oneness with him who is beyond all being and knowledge. In this way, through an uncompromising, absolute and pure detachment from yourself and all things and released from all, you will be lead upwards toward that radiance of the divine darkness which is beyond all being.

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Jewish mystic Moses de Leon, C13:

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God is unified Oneness.. one without two, inestimable. Genuine divine existence engenders the existence of all creation. The sublime, inner essences secretly constitute a chain linking everything from the highest to the lowest, extending from the upper pool to the edge of the universe.

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Sufi mystic Rumi, C13:

You hide me in your cloak of Nothingness

Reflect my ghost in your glass of Being

I am nothing, yet appear: transparent dream

Where your Eternity briefly trembles

No heaven or earth, just this mysterious place

We walk in dazedly, where being here

Or there, in time or not, are only

Two motions of the same ecstatic breathing.

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Christian mystic Catherine of Sienna, C14: Until Your Own Dawn

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Daybreak:
everything in this world is a luminous divine dream
I have spun.

I did not know life was a fabric woven by my soul.
Any form that can appear to you—should I confess this?—
it is something I made.
All roots nurse
from
me.

God’s art is mine. I did not want His divine talent.
It simply grew in my heart from
the way I
loved.

Existence is as a young child moving through
a lane at night;

it wanted to
hold my
hand.

Here, dear earth, hold me,
until your own
dawn.

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Christian Anchorite Julian of Norwich, C14:

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Therefore this is His thirst and love-longing, to have us altogether whole in Him, to His bliss,—as.
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Christian mystic Meister Eckhart, C14:

A master says whoever speaks of God in any likeness, speaks impurely of Him. But to speak of God with nothing is to speak of Him correctly. When the soul is unified and there enters into total abnegation, then she finds God as in Nothing. We must take God as mode without mode, and essence without essence, for He has no modes.

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Hindu mystic Ramakrishna, C19:

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No-one can say with finality that God is only “this” and nothing else. He is formless and again he has forms. For the bhakta (follower of path of devotion) he assumes forms. But he is formless for the jnani (follower of the path of knowledge), that is for him who looks upon the world as a mere dream… The jnani realises Brahman in his own consciousness. He cannot describe what Brahman is.”

Gay mystic Edward Carpenter, C20

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We are arriving at one of the most fruitful and important turning points in the history of the race. The Self is entering into relation with the Body. For, that the individual should conceive and know himself, not as a toy and chance-product of his own bodily heredity, but as identified and continuous with the Eternal Self of which his body is a manifestation, is indeed to begin a new life and to enter a hitherto undreamed world of possibilities….

Hindu mystic Aurobindo, C20:

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Up till now what Nature has achieved was an enlarging of the bounds of our surface Knowledge-Ignorance, what it attempted in the spiritual endeavour is to abolish the Ignorance, to go inward and discover the soul and to become united in consciousness with God and with all existence.

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Christian mystic Bede Griffiths C20:

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The one Word has gone out of itself, has reflected itself in this ocean of matter, the one Spirit is at work with its infinite energy, building up this matter in time… Here all is one, united in a simple vision of being. All the long evolution of matter and man, all my own history from the first moment that I became a living cell, all the stages of my consciousness and that of all human beings, is here recapitulated, brought to a point, and I know myself as the Self of all, the one Word eternally spoken in time.

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Ramana Maharshi:

Einstein:

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A human being is part of a whole, called by us ‘the Universe’, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest – a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few person nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening out circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.

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Ken Wilber:

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Evolution is best thought of as Spirit-in-Action, God-in-the-Making, where Spirit unfolds itself at every stage of development, thus manifesting more of itself and realising more of itself, at every unfolding.

 

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Psychedelic mystic Terrence McKenna:

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What we call history is the fall out of the dynamic here and now relationship with our environment and into this anticipation of the future, worry about the past – basically ego.

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Amma, the Mother of Immortal Bliss:

amma-quote

om namah shivaya

“God is Love”, said Jesus. “Love makes the world go round”, they sang in the 1960s. Rumi wrote that “Love is our Mother”. Love is certainly a ‘many splendoured thing’, and according to the world’s mystical seers, the force that makes the universe work. Everything in existence seems drawn instinctively to form union with something else. We can say that love is at work everywhere, driving our urge to reproduce, to have fun, to find companions on this life journey. It might be that the One split into the Many for Creation to happen and the mission of the Many is to return to the One. This is what the deep thinking, inner focussed, mystics from every religion, from every part of the globe, have been telling us for thousands of years. Humanity is slow to listen because of our investment in our own personal, individual egos. To switch to a view that recognises the Self in us is the Self in all beings changes everything – our egos dissolve into insignificance, our efforts to dominate or destroy each other are revealed as damage we our doing to ourselves.

Super Human: Chems and Consciousness

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Shamans across the world have always used substances from nature to expand their consciousness and commune with other layers of reality.  Modern humanity has all kinds of chemical magic that we have added to this pot of potential, but pays too little attention to the reality of the multiverse our trips take us too.

LSD opens the mind

Ecstasy opens the heart

Cocaine boosts the power centre

Crystal Meth/G/Mephedrone expand the sexual drive

(at least that’s all gay men seem to be using them for)

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If we take them all is human potential unleashed?

Better to understand that human potential exists without the chems

When we understand what we are:  divine ecstatic souls incarnate

Chems become signposts to the Way, doors to our own nature,

That can show us the unity of consciousness on the dance floor

Take us on journeys through the infinite mind space

That can reveal how strong and mighty the love within us is

Can point to our powerful potential as humans

And unlock the spirit trapped in the body.

They can reveal the thing that science keeps concealed

That the mental, emotional and spirit planes

Are vast, eternal and REAL.

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We have travelled and explored the physical

Right down to the quantum level

But while we are a species trapped in conflict and division

The gates to the other realms remain largely closed

One day all will see that the soul is part of infinity

The mental, emotional and spirit dimensions

Are as real, as vast, or even more so, than the physical

Humans have a lot to explore and discover yet

But we still haven’t got a grip on the basics.

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The idea that existence is an accident

Or the result of a physical big bang

Will be as ridiculous in the future

As the idea of a flat earth is to us today.

The idea of denying God

Because of the amount of suffering on planet earth

Will be as ridiculous in the future

As the idea that the earth is the centre of the universe.

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Existence is made of the forces of Creation

Preservation and Destruction/Transformation

These are the God powers and they exist in us

We live in a free will zone with divine power

In our thoughts, hearts, will and loins

We are the Creators, Preservers, Destroyer/Transformers

It’s time to own our powers

And recognise

That One Spirit is emanating here

As black, yellow, red, white, as straight, bi, queer

The refugee suffering loss is you

The Age of Aquarius will be online soon.

To get there we have to break so many delusions

Escape and transform so much confusion

But when unity is grasped

And our power so vast

Embraced and channelled for love

The veils will lift and the multiverse be revealed

The r-evolution will come.

imbolc

Stay strong through the tumult

Life is a game but it’s destination is clear

Move beyond division, move beyond fear

The Age of Aquarius

The Age of the Super Humans

Is almost here.

IMBOLC 2017

Remembering the Weekday Gods

There is more to the days of the week than meets the eye on a calendar.  The days meet us on a soul level too.  This is an example of the simple but profound patterns of the cosmos that modern humans have forgotten or ignore, that could bring so much benefit, healing and transformation were they remembered.

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Monday is the day of the Moon. It’s the day our emotional bodies want our attention. A day for self reflection and recharge.  But in our world the working week starts on a Monday, so people get pulled into movement and activity when their souls would rather be doing something much more intimate.  That’s why we don’t like Mondays.  If the working week began on Tuesday instead there would be an immediate boost to the mental health of the entire population, because…

Tuesday is the day of Mars, Mardi in French, Tues comes from the Norse equivalent war god Tyr.  The day has action energy behind it, drive and passion.  It’s get up and go, go out and get, no holding back energy. But after a hellish Monday we, and our work, most likely rarely get the full benefit of the Martian power.

Wednesday is Mercury’s day, or Wodin’s.  Wodin is associated with healing, knowledge, battle, sorcery, poetry, frenzy.  Mercury of course with communication and commerce (and thievery).  All highly effective sounding for the business world to thrive on Wednesdays (after a good lie in on Monday and a gear-setting Tuesday), and the frenzy often comes out in the pub on a Wednesday evening.  But Mercury and Wodin are also gods of the underworld, of death… and that’s how many folk feel on a Wednesday, like death warmed up, longing for the weekend.  If only there had been a day to recharge on Monday after the excesses of Saturday (and maybe Friday and Sunday) the working week would be so much more… productive and satisfying.

Thursday is Jupiter’s day.  We all know Thursdays feel good. We probably think it’s because the weekend is near, but Thursday is the day of the most expansive, generous and jovial of the divine frequencies.  Jupiter was called Zeus in ancient Greece, and he is the patron of the Aquarian age, since it was he who placed the beautiful shepherd boy Ganymede in the sky as the constellation Aquarius, a sign in the heavens that the day of love between males will one day be honoured as divine.  Thursdays are extra charged during the current acceleration of frequencies bringing the new age into being.  A good day to honour Zeus, who of course got stripped of his good humour and his homosexuality, merged with Saturn and turned into a faceless monotheist dictator god.  Thursdays are good days to joyfully reclaim the king of the gods and put him back in the pantheon, because coming next is…

Friday, the day of Venus, or Frigg, wife of Wodin, in the old Norse nomenclature.  Fridays are all about love, beauty, sex, prosperity and desire.  Good for work and for play, as can be seen on Friday nights in every town.  The energy of Venus is so strong this one goddess day is the balance to the trinity of male god days, those of Mars, Jupiter and Saturn.  Mercury is the queerest of the planets, and his can be seen in his astrological glyph that is the Venus symbol with horns.  The Sun and the Moon, although often described as male and female, do not really relate to gender at all… they teach us about the soul, as experienced on the outer and inner perspectives.

Saturday is the day of Saturn.  He is the serious daddy of the cosmos, the balance to Jupiter’s expansiveness.   The Jewish people recognised this and keep Saturday as their sacred day.  The energy of Saturn has many attributes, so Saturday is both a day for sorting things out, attending to our practical needs, and for attending to our relationship with the  sacred, which might be done as a contemplative, humble activity – although an equally traditional form of worship is to get high, ecstatic, drunk and laid. (The good old pagan ways the church has spent so many centuries trying to repress). But O yes the natural ways persist still in the modern world, we are not completely cut off from them….. Saturday night Saturnalian bacchanalia still grips the world, in milder and wilder forms of course, but the sacred function of getting wasted, ecstatic etc is mostly lost.  Brazilians often remember it.  Party with Brazilians if you need more insight into what I mean.  Learn about the orishas*, the spirits who party with us, with whom we connect our spirit when we get high. In Europe we used to honour Pan, the deity who enjoyed, encouraged and blessed our pagan celebrations – of the old gods his worship lasted the longest in Europe, and was only stamped out by his spirit being bastardised into the Devil, the Christian invention, the dark mirror of their all-perfect deity, as sex and intoxication became taboo and repressed.  Saturn likes to party, but preferably for a purpose – which might be to bond groups of people, to open minds and hearts, to focus energy for positive goals.  The lack of sacred and purposeful function in much modern partying directly relates to the amount of drugs people often consume in their search for a special experience.  Meaning and purpose brings connection.  They make life more fun.  They make it special.

Sunday is of course the day of the Sun, sometimes seen as the first day of the week, sometimes the last.  The day of the Sun is the day of the Self, which was taken over by Christianity and made into the day we bow down to the God – outside in the heavens, unreachable, distant and demanding.  The complete opposite of where we should be looking for God.  The arrival of eastern spiritual wisdom in the west over the past century has gradually shifted awareness here, and maybe now there are more people in Europe and America who see that divinity is found within, in our hearts and minds – and here to be found in this life, not in heaven afterwards – than ever before.  Of course Jesus himself told us to look within, we would find the kingdom of heaven there, and mystics in the west have always managed to do so, recording their discoveries and sometimes being executed for them.  Sunday is the day to be a mystic.  To celebrate God, the Self in All Things.  To see the light in each other, in nature.  Many mystics like to party….  Sunday is a natural day to dance, because God, the Self, is the Dancer and the Dance.  Drugs become less relevant when the intoxicant is divine love.

And then Monday … ah… we get to lie in, rest up, see how we feeling after the love and joy and release of the weekend, nurture and look after ourselves, ready to go out and be creative, productive and compassionate in the world again.  Hooray for living in a world that balances the freedom and joy our souls need to flourish with the work we have to do to build a prosperous, peaceful world.  It could be that way if we can make up our minds to make it so.

And, o yes, why does this irrational, illogical system of the days of the week, the gods, and us, have any meaning or reality?  Perhaps because WE designed it that way when we were still a unified consciousness, a spirit planning the most almighty adventure of its eternal existence.   Knowing that a time of forgetting, of separation, would come, we lay down signs, clues, tracks so that the mystery could unfold and the awakening come.  Could it be as simple as giving people a lie in on a Monday morning to shift the mental health of the world and reconnect us all to the divine flow?  We are always manifesting the qualities of the divine energies behind the days of the week in our individual and collective stories with little idea that we are doing so. We could be doing it more consciously, joyfully and successfully!  If only people got a lie in on a Monday the world might start becoming a better, happier place.  Our task is to create an Aquarian culture that honours all aspects of Who We Are, reconnects us to the cosmos and so empowers us to start sorting out the mess humanity is still creating on planet Earth.

*orishas: The orishas are the emissaries of the Divine.  They oversee the forces of nature and the endeavours of humanity in the Yoruba religion, each manifesting certain qualities of the One Divinity.  As well as supporting us in everyday life, when we get drunk or high we connect to the collective streams of spirit, so having good relationship with the spirit guardians of those streams can benefit and protect us.