December 2012 and tensions are high on planet earth. Some keep their heads glued to media fascinations and political dramas, but many of us think it is healthier to think for ourselves, to witness the changes that are happening and take a broader view, and get on board the consciousness train of development/evolution of the self.

More and more people are exploring various forms of spirituality and discovering deeper connections within themselves. Many queer adventurers on this path meet at faerie gatherings happening in europe, north america, asia and australia. We form a network of open minded, open hearted queers who welcome anybody who feels drawn to be part of the magically connected spaces of self discovery that we create. In faerie time there is space to heal, a chance to touch deep places within through the combination of being in nature and in loving community. There is time to get to know people, and ourselves, and to get creative, playful, dressed up, and yes dirty too.

Every Winter Solstice is a time of renewal. For thousands of years humans have gathered together at this darkest point of the year to give each other a boost of energy and celebrate the return of the light. This is the night to come out of hibernation into community and rekindle the love we share with others, build up the fire energy within us to help us through the winter, and to help us handle the energy of the transformations we are going through on personal and global levels.

Faeries are gathering in London on 20/12 2012, the final night of a massive cycle of the Mayan Calendar, with all the lesser cycles within it also aligning back to zero. The 21st December is a massive click on the cosmic clock. Some interpretations of the Calendar suggest it depicts the evolution of consciousness, each new layer building from and incorporating the previous levels. As all levels align a new super level is born. So perhaps this really could be the point where humanity realises that it is and always has been ONE SPIRIT, that all our differences are illusions in a complex pattern of species growth and the old story of conflict and conquest has got to change. Many of us already see it that way, when will the whole world? Isn’t this an idea whose time has come, and isn’t the hundredth monkey phenomena proof that it will spread quickly when it spreads.

Several ancient american calendars describe the end of a ‘fourth world’ and start of a fifth at this time in human history. A massive change is anticipated, and it is not hard to see that human life is going through massive changes. I do not need to see any outward manifestation of light or destruction to find significance around 21/12/2012. Light and destruction happen every day. But this date is one of those moments in history, made special by how much energy humans have put into it, it is the most anticipated date in spiritual history ever. Whether or not something happens on this date that makes the whole world sit up and swoon, I know that masses of people on this planet are already involved in co-creating a massive shift in human awareness. Part of this shift is to realise just how much danger we are in, with our planet’s ecology and our comfortable lifestyles threatened due to human greed and error. And part of the shift is waking up to a deeper understanding of who we are as human beings, why we are here and what we can grow into. Once this inward shift has happened we will we have more strength to face our precarious global situation and find solutions.

In faerie space queers meet to celebrate our personal life journeys and discoveries, we tell our stories, we listen and learn from each other. At the faerie End Of The World Party we will call to the directions, to elemental beings and devas of light. We will honour our oneness with all life, connect earth and sky within us and dance to the rhythms of the drums and faerie bells, we will dance for the birth of a new world of hope and light, and mark a point in history where one way of life was ending and a new way being found – finding our role as spiritual adventurers, utilising all the love and courage we as outsiders have learnt to carry through this world.

We live in a time of huge transformation on planet earth.  Gathering for a tribal ritual is a chance to honour that process, find others who are on the path of growth, and strengthen ourselves.  In this time of crisis and change, Life needs our love and courage.




Two powerful dates are coming up fast…. 12-12-12 and 21-12-12, the long awaited mayan calendar end date. After 12-12-2012 there will be no more dates where day, month and year are the same number until the 22nd Century.


Much has already been said about the 21st December (and more will be), so let’s take a look at 12-12, a perhaps significant staging post on the way to the 21st.


Some are saying 12-12 is a very good reason to party!


In India pregnant women are lining up to have their babies on this lucky date 12th December 2012


12-12-12 could be a very positive energy portal day, preparing us perhaps for the long awaited landmark date of 21-12-12. OneWorld Celebration in London is a gathering of lightworkers who feel called to create a circle of light and sound on that day through which divine consciousness can enter, balancing divine masculine and feminine energies and allowing the light to emanate from London across the globe.


Similarly, based in the USA, the World Puja Network is offering a ‘World Meditation and Planetary Transmission’ on this day, celebrating this as the day the ‘dark days end and the days of joy begin’. Everyone is invited to join six influential teachers of consciousness in creating a field of love energy through which the divine self is birthed.


12 is a very important – and very positive – number in human culture – used in the calendar, clocks, astrology, imperial measurements; and it appears in the 12 days of Christmas, the 12 apostles, 12 tribes of Israel, 12 knights of King Arthur’s round table, 12 labours of Hercules, plus 12 member juries, 12 stars in the european flag, 12 years of childhood before the teens and 12 step programmes


12 contains numbers 1, 2 and added together, 3.

In numerology, 1 is the vibration of new beginnings

2 is the energy of coming together, joining, of love

3 is about communication and creativity, manifestation

12 is the number of completion, harmony and perfection.

It is associated with spiritual connection and ‘cosmic karma’, (3 is the number of the goddess, and of many manifestations of the divine – eg the christian trinity and the creator-preserver-destroyer of hinduism. Perhaps 4 x 3 gives us entry through the four portals of the elements into the sacred realms)


Stephanie Azaria ( says the numerology of 12/12/12 is about letting go of old patterns, releasing anything that is holding us back from our own evolution. Our higher selves are just waiting for us to drop the ego stories and incarnate their divine essence. The end of the Mayan Calendar is highlighting this opportunity, but we can find reasoning for it from our own cultural systems too.


Right here at home in Europe we have our own astrological chart that more than adequately guides us through these times of great transformation. Recent movements of the epoch-making outer planets into new signs are heralding the changes. Pluto moved into the sign of Capricorn in 2008 and will be there until 2023 – its function there is to transform the structure of society, and destroy that which no longer fits with the evolutionary plan. Neptune entered its home sign Pisces for four months in 2011, then re-entered it on February 3rd 2012, and will stay there until January 2026 – this position in mystical, empathic Pisces brings us into deeper awareness of the higher love of the timeless soul and of the fluidity of multi-dimensional reality.


Uranus, the Awakener, entered the fire sign Aries in 2010 and stays until 2019. The influence here is sudden, revolutionary change, the energy of awakening to our true nature as spirit, and brings the spark of a new age. Coming slightly closer to Earth, Saturn entered Scorpio in October 2012 (until the end of 2014) which is bringing secrets, wounds and abusive histories up from the depths, but also gives us the impetus to let go of feelings and habits from the past that continue to hold us down. Coping mechanisms such as addictions may just not appeal any more, it is time to change. Finally, Jupiter is in Gemini from June 2012 until June 25th 2013, bringing a loosening up of what has been in a fixed state, especially in the area of stuck mental attitudes and beliefs, and along with it an air of excitement and optimism about the future.


Astrologically, 12-12-12 is the darkest point of the monthly moon cycle, with new moon in Sagittarius arriving on the 13th. Dark moons tend to reveal what is hurting in us, what needs attention. The moon has been having a particularly fierce affect on us lately. The full moon in Gemini and lunar eclipse on November 28th pushed many people into a tail spin, with unhealed parts of the self exposed in what was effectively a full and dark moon happening at once. Nothing much could stay hidden in this situation. This was then followed by a weekend with the moon in Cancer, still bright and nearly full and shining its light on all our emotions and feelings. This would not mean crisis for everyone, and could well have produced greatly magnified positive feelings, though for some these may have tipped easily into exaggeration and ‘lunacy’. When the moon reached Leo on Monday 3rd December the build up of this emotional energy may have led to some fiery outbursts, and perhaps to more indulgence and excess before the lunar energy calmed down. I bet we all are mostly feeling more balanced right now, and this will continue into the weekend.


The next thing to be aware of is that the moon will be in Scorpio from Sunday 9th until Tuesday 11th December, bringing another journey through the energy of death and rebirth. The best advice is ‘don’t suffer! Use this energy to release pain and let go of the past’, and so get ready for the influx of light 12-12-12 offers. The moon and sun will both be in Sagittarius on this date – there could be no better energy for breakthroughs into higher consciousness. Sagittarius is also a sign of service, so dedicating our energies to the wider benefit of all humankind will help us individually as well as collectively.


Whatever you do on 12-12-12 this is a good time to look out for signs of change in yourself and in the environment. Then get ready, a new world is about to be born. OK, OK many will not notice anything different, and perhaps most of us who see the birth of a new world have already been experiencing that for some time. But nevertheless, numbers are magical, they contain power – which we can ignore or harness, we have the choice.








I declared myself an atheist at the age of 12, religious stories that had illumined my childhood imagination no longer seeming relevant as I became aware of scientific explanations of life. I can remember in my teens kinda wanting telepathy and magic to be real, but was too rationally persuaded by this stage to do much about them.

From 12 until 30 atheism meant for me a denial of the existence of god as I understood that concept from my anglican upbringing, a father being in heaven. I preferred to believe that my existence was the result of chance collisions and explosions of physical matter somehow sparking life. I saw mother earth as a concept, simply a metaphor.

At age 30 strange and inexplicable things started to happen to me. I began to sense and experience things I had not noticed before – energy patterns, connections, bright colours, unexpected sounds, and voices from unknown parts of my mind.  I had to admit there was more going on than the simple logical alignment of molecules, there seemed to be a mystery waiting to be unravelled.  The idea hit me that a-theism might mean not the rejection of a religiously defined father god, but instead could imply the search for deep truth, the quest to understand the true nature of reality. At this point atheism ceased to imply a closed mind but more an open one, seeking answers rather than accepting what it was told by anyone else.

I was keen to find answers – motivated by my doctor’s prediction that I would die from AIDS within a couple of years. The switch I made in my own mind was enough to let information come flooding in, via books, films, conversations, music and creative writing. Inspired by ideas from the tao, from buddhism, witchcraft and kabbalah, by books on crystals, chakras, ancient civilisations, and from a suddenly visible world full of signs and wonders around me, I became very excited, just when it had seemed more likely I would be getting very sad and low.

People around me, though pleased I was happy and energised, were concerned for me and at times thought I was crazy, such as when I would not sleep for days, bubbling with ideas and spending nights staring at the moon and stars entranced, writing and drawing manically and disappearing off on mysterious missions. I would wear myself out and crash occasionally, but would return to states of elation quickly during a period of 6 months in 1995. I saw the end coming and knew I would enter into a quieter period where I would now need to study spiritual teachings and holy texts deeply in order to understand what had been happening to me and learn where to take it next. At this point I still considered myself an a-theist, a seeker of truth, but now I was also a believer in something bigger – in many things in fact, outside the culturally agreed norms of human awareness.  I just didn’t know how to define it yet.

It was as if the states of being I had known over the previous six years while on lsd had become my constant level of existence. Acid used to give me the idea that I knew the beginning and end of the universe, and could travel anywhere within it. Through music and dance I transferred my attention to my inner eye, opening it to receive images, colours, all kinds of psychedelia. Now I saw those abilities as a very real part of the many layered, complex BEING that I had discovered myself to be. Of course I wanted everyone around to share the same vision and elation, but by now began to understand that only a few could, I became calmer and started to face the idea of my own death, but with greatly reduced fear.


I have been very grumpy with atheists lately. In the rational twentieth century it seemed reasonable to reject all notions of god, refuse to give any credence to religion, but we are now in the second decade of the twenty-first. The idea of a global awakening to higher spiritual awareness has been in the mass consciousness for several decades now. Secret societies, cults and covens have been putting energy into that event for hundreds of years. All the worlds religions, magical paths, mystic teachings and shamanic practices are available to us in the cultivated west. And in many of those manifestations of humanity’s search to know its place in the greater cosmos there exists the notion of an eventual great change for life on earth, sometimes interpreted as a terrifying destruction, or else seen as a great glorious arrival of heaven, or both.

This time can be seen as an ‘end time’ and a beginning. But it certainly is a time of great challenge and difficulty. Fuck it, we are already there but still we collectively cling on to old notions of separation, superiority, difference – and blame. Our world is fuelled by greed and manipulation. We waste limited resources and are destroying the delicate balance of nature. We are all involved in this destructive conspiracy, 100% of us.

The search for self-knowledge through drugs is  illegal, and the search itself is mocked as new age nonsense.   We spend vast amounts of money on weapons and elections and hadron colliders, while many people struggle to simply survive and are denied basic amounts of money to live healthily on. Soon we may all be struggling to simply survive, as the people of the east coast of the americas recently learnt.

THIS IS 2012, the most talked about year in the spiritual calendar EVER. The Mayan Calendar ends… in a few weeks time. Certain other calendars from the americas consider the 4th world of life on earth to have already ended and the fifth begun. Fundamentalist Christians are passionate about the arrival of Christ on the planet, even to the extent of willfully perpetuating the encroaching chaos as they believe this will bring the end… and, as they see it, their own salvation…. rushing along.

Humanity is at the point of its biggest global crisis ever.

But what are the British talking about? Paedeophilia, and of course…. economics. Like more jobs, more money is going to help. We already have more money, bigger economies than ever before. When is enough enough?

What are religious leaders talking about?  How terrible it will be if same sex couples are allowed to marry – that apparently is what will bring the end of civilisation, not outrageous greed, corruption and climate chaos.

What are atheists talking about?  They don’t talk in general, they preach… and even have their own high priest in the form of Richard Dawkins.   On my path, I was thrilled to discover that the rejection of a personal deity figure was not a modern invention – it is something that has existed in eastern metaphysical religions for a very very long time.   Hindus are known for worshipping many gods, but certain paths within hinduism prefer to view the ultimate divinity as an impersonal force, of which the individual gods are representations designed to stimulate our minds and hearts.  Buddhism and Taoism are religions entirely built on this assumption, but divinity is not denied – it still appears in the miraculous powers of the many buddhas, dakinis and nature spirits.   Life itself is a mysterious complex miracle – and if we need proof of that, science has provided bundles of it.

People from the east rarely dream of denying the existence of a divine source altogether, because they experience its presence.  Eastern religions are fundamentally mystical paths, encouraging direct experience of the layers of reality our own consciousness can access.  Western religions have the same potential, but have become systems of political and social control – or they were.  Since atheism got a grip on the western mind, control has been replaced by confusion and consumerism.  All established religions, east and west, are patriarchal power hungry beasts, seeking to disempower women and gay men, ie the people for whom feeling, emotion and pleasure are equally or more important than logic, money and obedience to the rules as straight men have defined them.

We are at the tipping point.  We are at the end of a long period of heterosexual male dominated greedy exploitation.  What comes next?

Like a man destined to die in a short time of AIDS, humanity needs to find some deeper answers, get beyond arguments around whose god is best, which path is the holiest.    Religious leaders, politicians, academics, corrupt big business all need to fucking wake up.

And so do atheists.. but they at least are the closest to doing so.